Sunday, April 29, 2012

Progress Report - after week 4

After completing "week 4," exhaustion test result: 37 push ups in a row. Beginning week 5 in column B.
With only 6 weeks in the program, this may just be the first fitness program that I ever see through to the end!!!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Thank You Letter

To all you beauty girls out there,

Whether you call yourself G, P, femme, straight, not-into-labels, or what-ever, if you have ever flirted with me, complimented me, dated me, danced with me, chatted me up, or otherwise shown some kind of attraction towards me, I want to tell you, thank you.

When I ask God why he would make me into someone who doesn't know, when they look into a mirror, who they want looking back, someone who doesn't know if they are a man or a woman, or want to be a man or a woman, or if they are happy being someone in between, a T, a B... I also have to thank him for making people like y'alls, who would find this mess attractive, even when even I myself don't know what I want to look like. You give me the courage to be myself, and to keep looking for who that myself is, or who that myself I want to be. That's priceless. And really, I can't thank you enough for it, but ya, really, thank you.


Life is full of addictions, whether they are "sleazy" ones like drugs or alcohol, or more "noble" things like self-satisfaction of "knowing that you've helped somebody" at work. I think we are more or less, we human are driven by desires, which inevitably become our addictions.

Recently, I have fallen into a highly addictive activity called the improvement of body image. I have been addicted to various aspects of this activity at different points in time. For a while, I was into ear piercings. As I think I've reached the maximum capacity in my left ear (I need my right ear for talking on the phone and sleeping), I've moved on to haircuts and hair dyes, and expensive hair styling products. After ending up chopping off almost all my hair for a low maintenance haircut, my new hobby is working out, including activities like push-ups and yoga. 

It is common knowledge that piercings and tattoos are addictive, as you think you are improve yourself more by getting more things pierced and inked. I had no idea that body building can be addictive as well... as more muscles = better? While I am satisfied with my upper body development, I fear that eventually I will be dissatisfied with the limits of my female body in my pursuit of masculine beauty, that I am already addicted. 

Sometimes I think the parent's group have a point. If you have no word for something, no knowledge of something, then you simply cannot be. Maybe if I've never known about this thing called homosexuality, I might be dating guys... or just single. If I've never broken in the Chinese lesbian circle and learned about these people called tomboys I may have never realized that's the kind of expression of who I want to be, and left my hair long and the closet feminine. If I had never known about this thing called hormone therapy... the idea that I could be dissatisfied with the physical limits of my natural born sex... would never have occurred... 

Maybe I should have gone to a Catholic university =.=

Friday, April 20, 2012

Holy what power O.O

So now I'm doing week 4 of the hundred push ups program. Although I say I'm on week 4, actually I've been repeating weeks/skipping weeks/slacking for a while now. Yesterday I attempted to throw some punches, and my power shocked myself O.O My punch was so hard and fast and I barely had time to stop my arm from popping off my body! I will have to start practicing kung fu again... so the other muscles in my body have time to catch up with my push up muscles...

Getting excited!

Friday, April 13, 2012

That magic threshold

This week I finally feel like I'm recovering from mono. And boy do I feel powerful. I don't know what it is... the 30 minute youtube yoga that I've been doing... the handstand practices... or the Chinese medicine that my herbalist gives me for the mono has some kind of illegal/magical ingredients... but there has been a noticeable change in my body. My muscles feel firmer, and the pushups routine has suddenly become much easier. I can complete the sets without much difficulty, and I don't have sore muscles the next day. I am supposed to do set 3/week 3 tmr.. and last night I was able to do 30 pushups in a row after first four sets...

I think 100 push ups is not impossible after all. I'm looking forward to this.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


It wasn't until I tried commenting on someone else's blog post that I re-discovered that I had this blog (and that I was doing the push ups challenge). Wow I have almost forgotten about it after Christmas break.

So where am I now, with this push-ups thing?

Actually, I've made more progress that I thought. Although I am now stuck on week 3 and week 4 (I do one of the sets randomly once in a looooooooooooong while), I no longer have sore muscles after a day of exercise. There is a definite improvement in the one of my arms and chest muscles.While on my initial test I had sore muscles the next day after doing 20 push ups, I can now do 20 push ups with relative ease, and do a couple of sets of them without sore muscles the next day. I will need to re-commit to the program to make further progress though, I'm sure.

But one thing that I've really noticed with the push ups program was the importance of stretching. Having chest muscles firming quickly also means that they are tightening quickly, and this has had a negative impact on my posture and accentuated neck and shoulder soreness. This is where I discovered yoga. Yoga has done wonders for my broken body, increasing my flexibility, easing tight muscles, and correcting my posture.

With school going out soon, I will begin the program anew with week 3. Goodluck to me, and to all who are trying to get fit and stay fit.